this sucks.
i know it needed to happen, and i know it was mutual, but can we rewind to yesterday where you texted me and said that you wished you were with me? when it made sense for me to miss you when i hadn't seen you for an hour?
how did i grow so attached so quickly?
i say that every time, i guess.
but it's hard every time.
i was finally getting to live this dream i'd had since i was in high school.
5 years.
this had been 5 years coming.
and now it's over in just 2 months?
it hadn't really even started.
yeah, i was lying to myself.
true, it's easier to end things now before we got any more attached.
but do you realize how much i idolized you?
and do you realize how much you really lived up to (and even exceeded) that idolization?
i've never been treated as well as you treated me.
you've raised the bar to a nearly unreachable standard.
it made so much logical sense.
i guess that's the problem though.
it was only logical. there was no feeling to it.
we said the things we said because they were the things we were "supposed to say".
we did the things we did because they were the things we were "supposed to do".
it had to have been more than just a cognitive attraction.
i still got butterflies every time i saw you.
i got goosebumps every time you grabbed my hand.
it felt so right.
but at the same time, there was something not right about it.
and i guess that's why things needed to end.
i don't think i know how to be your friend.
i want to be.
i enjoy spending time with you.
but i don't know how to spend time with you without being interested in you.
because i still don't feel like it's over.
but i guess it really is.
Comments (1)
i can eerily relate to this. funny how life is like that.Â